2009 has come with its share of life lessons. Some harder learned than others. One aspect of the holidays that I enjoy is reflecting on all of these experiences. I enjoy bringing closure to times past, and opening up to the possibilities of what is to come.
In this year, I have changed work schedules from overnight to PM shift--allowing my body the much needed rest its been craving. I've also let go of the thick curtains that once blocked out the sun during the day (what were my sleeping hours). Interesting how the world looks more alive when everyone is awake. In addition, this change in schedule allowed me to develop in my work with the kids. I spend more time with them and hear more of their heart-breaking stories. Earlier in the year, I was present when a youth took a handful of unknown pills and assisted in dealing with the aftermath of his actions. This youth died in a fight later in the year and after he discharged from the facility. I realized again after hearing this news that all of the hours and time spent with the kids I work with are only as valuable as the youth allows it to be. For some of the youth the unfortunate truth is that their life path is not taking them anywhere positive. This is a difficult realization in a field that takes so much personal investment.
I was also able to travel to the Middle East and experience parts of Jordan, Israel and Palestine with my brothers and parents. Time spent with family as an adult is always interesting. Old tendencies resurface. The older sister and only daughter in me comes out naturlaly as soon as we are all together. During this time with family, I am also able to separate myself from the crisis that are a constant in my work environment. I forget that it is not natural to forever be in crisis mode until I am away from it.
In late August, I experienced a seizure that sent me to the emergency room. The consequences of this included starting medication, losing driving privileges, relearning to ride the bus, lots of doctors appointments, and much anxiety about the whole situation. I still need to manage most of these--although the driving privileges have been restored with time.
Also this year I moved into an apartment on my own. Most of this experience has been positive. Although, the medical emergency made me think more realistically about what I am and am not capable of doing alone.
The year concluded with the addition of a sister-in-law to the family. That relationship is still building and is one thing that I hope will continue to develop with time.
What 2010 holds for me is unknown. I hope that it is filled with beautiful and wonderful experiences. I hope that realtionships develop with friends I already have and with new ones as well. I hope that my experiences at work develop into new opportunities. I hope that I can continue to travel and live life to the fullest.
I recently found a quote from Marilyn Monroe that expresses some of my desires for the new year..."Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
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